Hot Topic : Can A Man Cheat While Being In Love?

Here is another Hot Topic, I received a DM earlier this week with this question. This seems like it might hit home for a lot of people who have been in relationships where there has been some infidelity.

DJ Supreme,
I heard your Hot Topic the other day and I need your help. Me and My boyfriend have been on and off for the past five years. The relationship is rocky but we always come back together because I genuinely feel like he loves me. I love him as well but he isn't established enough career wise and finances play a big part in our relationship.
Here comes the part that might break us up permanently, during our last break up he had sex with a random woman he met online. He claims he didn’t know her well and just ended up chatting with her online, they met up, and clicked and ended up sleeping together.
We weren’t together and I had a “friend” while we were broke up this latest time so I was able to forgive him because at the end of the day we weren’t together. Around the New Year, we reunited he proposed and everything was back to normal. Here comes the problem, they didn’t use protection and now he just found out this week that she is four months pregnant. I’m pissed because in today’s climate who has unprotected sex during a worldwide pandemic? He put both our lives at risk with this random hook up.
He claims he can’t live without me and has always loved me and he just acted out of loneliness. He is begging for my forgiveness and claims that we both did the same thing. I don’t find this to be the same because he has a child on the way and I was careful to make sure nothing like that happened with my “ friend”.
While I love him I don’t think I can raise a child with someone I have been with for years. The question I have is can a man truly love a woman if he has sex with other women? I admit I had fallen completely out of love with him and it took a lot of convincing to even get me to give the relationship another chance. He claims he has been in love with me the whole time and this was a simple mistake. I’m at a confusing point in my life because the only way to convince me to get back with him was that he proposed to get married ring and all.
I love my ring and I love the idea of being married I’m 33 years old and feel like I’m ready for that step in my life. On the other hand, I don’t want any parts of his new baby momma drama. I have no kids and that is something I wanted to do once I was married. Do you feel like his love is genuine and should I give him a third chance?

Yes, I do think men can have sex with another woman and still love the person they are in a relationship with it happens all the time. Women connect sex with emotions and for a lot of men, sex is only physical and has nothing to do with love.

This rule isn't concrete so we are working off of generalizations. In your case, this man didn't create a child with this woman on purpose. Respectfully his engagement should be the least of his worries. I'm not suggesting you take him back because that is a decision that you and only you can make.

The relationship seems like it was rocky, to begin with. Maybe you should continue to date him throughout the childbirth and then re-examine the engagement in two years. You and your fiancé have no idea what type of drama that his new baby will bring into his life. It could be smooth sailing or it could be Jerry Springer type material. If it is worth your time stick around if not you should leave. I wouldn’t advise running off with him that’s irresponsible and selfish on his part.

Your fiancé’s new priority is raising a child with a random woman and your relationship is going to become second to his child.