Jobs That May or May Not End Badly in Oneonta

It’s time to visit our old friend Craigslist. Remember when we looked at five strange things for sale on the Oneonta page? Yeah, well the job forum is almost as horrifying, minus the photos.

Job listings are always a little terrifying anyway, especially when they’re for local business or places you don’t even know. Perhaps you’re signing up to become a pimp or to deliver an unmarked case full of $20 bills.

Would you apply for any of these vague and strange jobs?

1. Training is Provided (Oneonta)

“Friendly staff boasting great pay, good benefits and flexible hours. We are hiring friendly and highly motivated people to join our staff. Our location is in south Oneonta. Location is irrelevant, though, and commuting is not necessary.”

This job is disconcerting on many level, not the least of which is its callous disregard for office location disclosure. But they do train, so that’s good.

What’s the job? Who knows. You’ll probably end up standing on a street corner with an old newspaper washing windows for a homeless man who used the internet at the library to post this fine career opportunity.

2. Looking for Dog Pet Sitter

Here’s the gist of this part-time job:

• Our dog is massive (Boxer)
• Our dog is aggressive (Doesn’t play well)
• Our dog hates other dogs (Can’t take it for a walk)
• Our dog loves children so much he gets excited and bites them (Can’t be around children)
• Our dog may try to escape if you put him outside in a fenced-in yard
• Please come dogsit for us

Sounds like a joyous time.

3. Housekeeping

We save the best for last here. I am always partial to short-and-sweet listings that give few details, yet explain it all.

“This job is for someone who knows how to clean.”

Well, said, sir. Well said.